08 October 2018
My doctors appointment was booked for 09:30/08. “My male name” was announced so that I might walk forward to be greeted by the doctor now standing in Reception. Of course on standing the female doctor smiled as she was caught slightly unawares.
I simply followed behind her into the consultation room and begun to explain I had wanted to Trans Gender to a woman. The discussion was fairly brief as she seemed to accept that I had given this careful thought and obviously wanted to take this further as dressed in a skirt and top wearing stockings and high heels. Nothing too glam but smart. She explained she would write to the NHS and request for me to begin the first step by being seen by a psychologist. They would write to be within a 3 to 6 month time frame. Now I had to wait. Waiting and uncertainty certainly take a toll; but there is no shortcut.
I was given a number by my Occupational Therapist from work on the 9th of October for The Employee Assistance Programme.
They assured me they would be of great benefit in helping me move forward and progress my transition. Having obtained the number I did call. They were warm and receptive but I felt not much help. They asked what I need to chat about? I explained I wanted to become a Trans Gender Woman and wanted HRT treatment via the NHS. I was given the same info has I had already received from the doctor. For me I was gaining no advantage at all from using this service. I knew what I wanted to do but I was hitting a dead end. Clearly I will have to wait at least 3 months just to book an appointment to get to see the Psychologist; this is the very first step and there is nothing I can do; except wait for my letter.
09 October 2018
I live at home with my mother (83) and life can be quite difficult when trying to maintain privacy. My mother has refused me the use of the washing machine as a male. Her house, her rules. Awkard!
I have 3 sisters and 1 brother. All have expressed a view that if I am a woman then I must learn to do the washing and housework.
Mum wants be to be the gardener too .... but I am not ruining my nails just to please her. I did agree to do my washing and so she has allowed me use of the washing machine. Its gender assignments .... I found the whole situation laughable really. Now I was becoming a woman (though clearly still a man) they where changing my role. I did have a laugh.
11 October 2018
I had my very first manicure and love it. The nail cuticles are made soft by application of a liquid. The skin is trimmed and nails tidied. Then the nail surface is prepared ready to take your chosen nail varnish. After drying I had a white edge painted at the edge of the nails. Then glitter was applied. After the whole process was completed I was informed about another process where your nails would be heated and coated in such a way to prevent chipping. I never knew how much work goes into having nice nails.
When I left I had booked to have my nails “Shellac – ed”. This time they were treated in such a way that the nails should look good for up to two weeks. However it does mean having your nails done more often as they grow. I would love to have nice long good looking finger nails and was delighted with my pink varnish. Very girly.
12 October 2018
I signed in at work and went outside to get the staff bus to city centre before taking on my bus. Most drivers are men though quite a few woman drive buses too. Getting on the staff bus I was the only one. The male driver had know me now almost 4 years and as
Alone I told him about my Transgender. At first he thought was joking. We had a frank exchange about what I was doing and he said he took balls to do what I was doing. For that he respected me. Then he went on to proceed to say “but I will still take the piss out of you as I have always done.” He was not being nasty. He was treating me exactly how he has always treated me. Be careful not to start calling unfair treatment etc.
During my first break time I stood in front of 20 drivers and asked for their attention. “May I have your attention please. I feel a need to offer some kind of explanation just so you know what’s going on to avoid any confusion.” I think explained what I was doing and why I was doing it (as briefly as I could) before closing with a statement saying people should treat me exactly the same as before and I would be willing to answer questions if I was treated with dignity and respect for my decision. I left being congratulated by some who thought I had balls to do such a thing. Time will tell. A few just walked away as I spoke but that is normal life. Not everyone wants to know; not everyone will like what you say. You have to be true to yourself and hold you line and keep your dignity. In the afternoon I had a chat and three woman also sat and listened. I left feeling really good and had a great day driving my bus. Passengers would notice my nails; and comments and others just observed. Obviously I just went about my work as if it was all quite normal. If I got asked I would say; otherwise not. It soon dawned on me that you simply will not be able to explain what’s happening to all. What is more; you don’t need to. Next step a brief note in the company magazine saying:
“ Mark Black would like to be called Marcia as she wants to Trans Gender to a woman. She is willing to have an open conversation with any who might like to ask questions and just request that they give her her dignity and respect for making this decision.”
I have reached a point where I don’t want to have to explain anymore than a normal man or woman has to explain who they are.
Though I do know I will get some harsh comments from some. That is life I am afraid; and you can not expect to walk through life in a bubble. LOL
Should any other sissies like to chat then please get in contact. I would be more than happy to be friends should that happen.
I would like to thank Mistress for taking care of my needs by offering help and advice and support when needed. She has be very kind towards me and I love my Mistress very much. Thank you Mistress.
13 October 2018
Spent time with my brother and my mum together and alone. My brother gave me advice on how to dress and create illusions of female curves using fabrics and clothes styles. Whilst my mother bonded with me as if I was her daughter allowing me to try on dresses. I had a very good day although somewhat disrupted and not as productive as perhaps it should have been . I have yet to know what Mistress thinks about what I have done today. I hope she will be pleased; although she does have very high standards and I am always left in some doubt as to what she thinks.
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